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  • Writer's pictureKristen Hepner

A Few Questions...

Who am I? What do I stand for? What makes me happy? What gives me life and purpose? How do I want others to view me? What does God want from me?

 

Big questions, right? I woke up thinking these things this morning. I know all the answers because I have asked myself them before, however, I think sometimes in the hustle and bustle, you stop telling yourself the answers and the world starts answering for you. At least that is what happens to me. So here is me, sitting down, and reminding myself of what I already know.

 

  1. Who am I? This question is so essential, especially today, in the world that tells you to follow your heart and do what you want to do. In all actuality, our identity, who we are, should be taken from the truth, the Bible. According to Scripture, we, humans, were created in the image of God. Once we choose to follow Christ, we are adopted into His family and the Bible calls us Children of God. We, as believers, bare His name. If our identity is in anything other than Christ, it is misplaced. So to answer this question, who am I, requires nothing more than me knowing that I have been grafted into God’s family and now it is time for me to abide.

  2. What do I stand for? Convictions. We all have them. A definition of conviction is, “a firmly held belief or opinion.” So, what are they? I am not talking about the black and white dos and don’ts that are clearly defined in the Bible, I mean the gray areas that no one really talks about. As the great Aaron Tippin sang, “You’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.” I believe that just as much as we must wrestle with the decision to give our life to Christ, we need to work out our faith and understand what it looks like to walk with Jesus. That means we must understand our convictions. Having a relationship with Jesus is the goal. Walking with Him, learning from Him, talking with Him, becoming like Him; and we can do all these things when we allow Him access to all parts of our lives! Our goal should be to have the mind of Christ, so our convictions should align with His. The world is going to be yelling what they think is good or bad, right or wrong, but we don’t want to hear the world’s voice! We want to hear God’s voice. And we want to hear HIS WHISPER the loudest.

  3. What makes me happy? There are things that will ALWAYS fill our days. Kids, work, cleaning, carpools, swim practice, grocery shopping etc. etc. etc. That is one thing that I am still adjusting to in American life. It is just so busy. No, but really. It is too busy! I lived in Europe for 15 years. Things are slower there. We mostly walked everywhere we went. That means we did not overschedule ourselves because we could only be here or there as quickly as our feet would take us. We stopped on the way and talked to neighbors because they were usually outside enjoying the day (except in the winter when you saw no one). There was time for coffee. That means there was ALWAYS time to meet with the people under your umbrella to connect in a deep and meaningful way…and typically coffee was involved. I could go on and on, but my heart is starting to squeeze because I miss my Serbs so much, so let me return to my point. My husband likes to say, “time and money, you either tell them where to go, or they will tell you.” Our time is being eaten away by the demands and pressures put on us by others, or primarily, in my case, by myself. So I go, go, go and hurry, hurry, hurry, and mostly neglect what makes me happy. What are those things, you may ask? People. People make me happy. I love to connect with people on a deeper level than surface stuff. I’ve started to cultivate spaces to allow these relationships to grow, but not nearly enough. Writing. Writing makes me happy. It’s the last thing on my list to do, but it really should be one of the first. I know myself better and my God when I take the time to write. Encouraging others. Encouraging others makes me happy. It’s one of my spiritual gifts and I have found that when we spend the majority of our time operating in our spiritual gifts, there is a deep inner joy that develops. This is why the enemy of our souls tries to deter us at every chance possible to do the things God has purposed for us to do.

  4. What gives me life and purpose? This question is really one and the same as “what makes me happy?” but there are some things I could add. Let me elaborate on what I mean. What is it that you do that fills your soul? Not just a quick moment of satisfaction, but something you take with you and pull strength from for days to come? It helps you to put on your rose-colored glasses and see the world through a more positive lens. This thing motivates and sparks creativity and inner drive to keep going; better yourself; and live a life worth living. God is so unique that He made us all different. There is not a cookie-cutter answer to these questions. It is something that you must discover for yourself by taking risks and trying new things. For me, it is sitting with Jesus in a quiet spot, preferably with coffee every morning. If this life rhythm is neglected, then I deeply suffer. Another way for me to feel purpose is by writing words to Him that help me understand myself and encourage others in their walk with Him. The enemy steals this time from me too often. Being in nature on a long walk is another way that I can clear my mind. Going to the gym keeps my body and mind in a healthy space to be a better me and see the world a little clearer. Putting my dumb phone down gives me life and purpose, yet all of my people can attest that I still struggle with that. You need to find your thing. God will help you. And then you need to do those things that fill your soul. It will help you to be a better you, which will affect those around you.

  5. How do I want others to view me? Some of you may read that and immediately think, “I don’t care what others think of me.” Sometimes I wish I was one of you. I know that Paul tells us in Galatians, “live for the approval of God and not man,” and I completely agree with that. I am not talking about approval. I am asking, “how do I want others to view me?” This question really hit home to me when someone asked, “what do you want people to say about you after you pass?” It made me think. I want people to say, “Kristen loved Jesus more than anything…and boy oh boy did she love her man…and ALL of her kids…” Then I went a step further and asked myself, “what do I want my husband and kids to say about me?” They see all the stuff, you know? And it changed something about me. When I started down the old roads on patterns of functioning in unhealthy ways, I would think; “I can stop this, and my people can see how strong I am.” After becoming frustrated with someone and speaking unkind words, I can apologize and those close to me can see, “she is humble and forgiving.” I could have the hard conversation that I dreaded, and people could see, “she is brave.” And really all the time that I am trying to set an example to those that I love, I am really proving to myself who God actually created me to be and how He gives me the strength to act in each of those situations.

  6. What does God want from me? I believe that this is a daily question we must ask ourselves. We have a verse in Micah 6:8 that essentially answers the question; “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”. However, what does that mean? This is where the relationship comes in. We have to know Him more and more each day…and know ourselves. A new word for me lately has been “expectant”. The Lord wants me to position my heart in a place of expectancy. Instead of flippantly asking Him this or that, I need to enter His presence each morning with a sense of deep expectancy that He will lead and guide me through each day. He will let me know what he wants from me and how I can serve Him. He already knows it is my heart’s desire to be more like Him, and as Psalm 37:4 says, “take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Here’s me holding to that promise today.


Asking ourselves hard questions is important. Taking the time to search our hearts and talk with God about these soul level questions makes us stronger in the faith and more powerful for the Kingdom. Asking others these questions is also important. There is a lack of deep intimacy in most of our relationships today and every one of us can feel it. So maybe God is calling us to be the change. Ask the questions and start more meaningful conversations. I guarantee you will not regret it!

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