He Makes It OK
Today is the day we celebrate the day I first received the honor of being called, "Momma".
I guess another way to put that would be to say that today is my firstborn's 19th birthday. And his life is so worth celebrating! Dayne is an amazing human being.
On a very real level, this day is also a day of "remembering" in my own personal journey.
Here in Serbia, it is a common greeting to not only say, "Happy Birthday, Dayne", but also everyone who would greet him would say to me or Josh, "Happy birthday to your son!" This common practice of celebrating the entire family further illustrates my point...children are a blessing from the Lord and worth celebrating.
Today also marks the first birthday that my son lives half a world away. I won't be able to hug him, bake him a cake, wake him up singing, or even shower him with gifts...
...and that reality hits hard...and at times feels heavy...
...but to be perfectly honest...it's OK.
It's OK because God has a way of making things OK deep in my heart.
James 4:6 tells us that God gives more grace. And He does. He meets us where we are, fills every need and desire, and surrounds us with peace...
...when we "surrender" to Him.
This is something I continue to learn and continue to understand as I walk with Jesus.
The tried and true promise of Philippians 4:6-7, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and petition, make your requests made known to God, and the peace of the Lord, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus"(version from my memory) comes alive in seasons like this.
It's true. The Bible is absolutely true. I've lived it.
When I pray and make my requests known to God, with thanksgiving, I have peace.
The peace that could only come through the power of the Holy Spirit fills my heart and mind.
There is a very human side to my heart and mind that longs to be with my son today. I would be lying to say that I don't care. I have spent all morning watching videos, looking through pictures, and basking in a place of "remembering".
But in a deep and real way, it's OK that I am not there with him because the Lord's grace is sufficient. It's tangible. It's lifechanging.
I have not always been in this space of contentment and peace...and I know that seasons will come when I will have to repeat the truths that my heart has come to know because I will again believe lies.
But today, I am holding fast to the truth that God is in control and He is trustworthy in the lives of my children and in my own heart.
Happy Birthday, my sweet boy. You are so worth celebrating!